Gorgeous Grandma

My Grandma Dorothy went to heaven recently. 

It is the first time I have lost someone close to me. I wish I could just pick up the phone and call her. I finally understand what “leave a little sparkle wherever you go” means. 

I hope she is with her brother, friends and parents who are on the other side. I like to think the people we love are waiting for us in heaven welcoming us with open arms when we finally arrive. 

Some may call their family members beautiful—I call mine gorgeous. I don’t know when this family joke started—but her famous moniker just stuck around. She was known to her nieces and nephews as Gorgeous Aunt Dorothy—but to me, she will always be Gorgeous Grandma. 

I went to see her several weeks ago while she was in hospice care. Don’t judge me, but I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want to remember my grandma hooked up to an oxygen tank, wheezing and in pain and suffering. 

I wanted to remember the amazing moments with her.

I wanted to remember when my sister and I went to Georgia and she took us to get pedicures. This was a ritual of self-care for my grandma—and it was always a treat for us because that wasn’t part of our lifestyle. If she was going to be gorgeous, her granddaughters would be too. 

I remember being around 9 or 10 and my grandma picked my sister and me up from the Phoenix Airport, drove us back to her apartment, and cooked us her famous matzah ball soup. She really enjoyed making it for us. Even a year ago when Steph and I visited her at Aunt Ricki’s, we stayed with her at the house and she made us her famous soup. 

When I moved into my first apartment in Hollidaysburg she sent me some household gifts that I could use. She sent me a wok and Swiffer mop. We used the heck out of those things. The wok is rusty now—but I can’t bring myself to get rid of it. 

One of the things I loved about my grandma was—whenever you called her or saw her—you were her favorite grandchild. I think she loved all of us equally, but it just felt good to hear her call you her favorite granddaughter. Even if you knew your sister and cousin were also her favorite. It just kind of made you feel special. 

When you are a twin— you share a lot of the people you love. 

I cherish the memory of when I went to Georgia for work training. Part of the training was to visit the company’s distribution center. I stayed an extra day to spend just a little more time with my family. The warehouse was in Braselton, not that far from where Grandma lived. She came to pick me up and then we went to linner (late lunch) at a restaurant called Cheddars. 

Grandma and I both agreed the food wasn’t really that good. I ordered a plate of onion rings and when it came out, Grandma said “that is bigger than your head!”  It was just me and her—and it was special. She and I drove back through town as she gave me a tour, pointing out places she routinely went. When we arrived at her apartment, she warned me that she uses the bathroom from a certain time to whenever, and had made up a little daybed for me in her guest room. 

I will never forget the time my sister and I were receiving the sacrament of confirmation at our Catholic Church. It’s when you confirm your faith to the church. It was a big deal to my mom. My parents were having a big party for us and it was in the works for months. 

Well, that weekend—it had started snowing. And the church had postponed the event due to the snow.
My sister and I were pretty upset and Gorgeous Grandma made a surprise grand entrance. Now, you have to understand my grandmother was Jewish and she still thought it was important to support us. 
They postponed the event—and Grandma came out to visit again when the event actually happened. 
It reminds me of a lesson my parents and my family taught me. 

Your family shows up for you. 

If it was important, Grandma was there.

Grandma made it to most of the school plays, Thanksgivings,  graduation parties, weddings and bar and bat mitzvahs. She was at my wedding at the beach and I cherish the photos I have with her from that day. My wedding was one of the happiest days of my life because all of the people I loved were in the same place. 

Thanksgiving was a big deal in my family. Every year everyone in the family would make arrangements to come to my mom and dad’s house or my Aunt Sharon’s house in New Jersey . 
Everyone pitched in, and anyone who wanted to come for the holiday was welcomed with a loving place to stay. Grandma, some of my dad’s cousins and second cousins and even friends were welcome. When Grandma was there it was like our family was complete. Grandma enjoyed helping out with cooking the food and spending time with us. We didn’t have to do anything uniquely special when we were with grandma. Her presence was the gift.  

To my Grandmother, family was everything. She had a lot of people who loved her—but she really did leave sparkles of gorgeous glitter everywhere she went. She lived in Arizona, New Jersey, Georgia, and Delaware for a short time. 

She made friends everywhere she went. She kept in touch with people from all over. 

Grandma was always talking about her friends. She had a lot of them and probably had the most friends out of anyone I know. In her final days, she must have had over 100 visitors coming to see her. She still remembered all of her loved ones' birthdays.

Her gorgeous glitter was left everywhere and she made an impact on so many people, she probably didn’t even know how many people she touched. That phrase, “leave a little sparkle wherever you go” embodied my grandma.

My last memory with Grandma Dorothy was during my recent trip and it made the whole trip worth it, even though it pained me to see my gorgeous grandma in her last stage of life. My dad collected me at the airport and drove us straight to her hospice facility. 

I got there, and she slept for most of the day when I arrived. I prayed that she would awaken and recognize me. 

Dad and I got to spend time together having lunch and dinner taking breaks from sitting in her room in the dark. Remember when I said it’s hard to share people you love? It was nice to get to spend that time with just my dad. 

When we came back from dinner —she was awake and my dad said “Look who's here!” and she goes “Cassidy is here!” and she grabbed my hand and had the most excited look on her face.That moment made me feel like I had made the right decision to come see her. 

I can think of many other memories with my Gorgeous Grandma Dorothy, but this would be so much longer. 

She may not be on earth with us anymore--but she is always in my heart.